They stared at this sudden, bloody, swaying apparition, which was dreamily waving a sword in one hand and an axe in the other.
They had axes, too. But the thing glared at the and asked:
“Where’s… my… cow?”
They backed away.
“Is that my cow?” the creature demanded, stepping forward unsteadily. It shook its head sadly. “It goes ‘Baaaa!'” it wept. “It is… a sheep….”
Then it fell to its knees, clenched its teeth and turned its face upwards, like a man tortured beyond his wit, and beseeching the goods of fortune and the tempest, screamed: “That! Is!! Not!! My!!! Cow!!!!”
The dwarfs backed away down the slope. Overhead, the vurms were still pouring in, outlining the invader against their green-white glow.
“Where’s my cow? Is that my cow?” it demanded, following them.
In every part of the cavern dwarfs had stopped work. There was hesitancy in the air. This was only one man, after all, and the though in many minds was: what is someone else going to do about this? It had not yet progressed to: what am I going to about this? Besides, where was the cow? There was a cow down here?
“it goes ‘neigh!’ It is a horse! That’s not my cow!”
Dwarfs looked at one another. Where was the horse, then? Did you hear a horse? […}
Half a dozen shrouded dark guards stepped out from the group. One of them carried, ahead of him, a flame weapon, and advanced on the figure cautiously. The flame of its little pilot light was the brightest thing in the cave.
The figure looked up, the light reflected red in its eyes, and growled: “is that my cow?”
Then it threw the axe overarm, full at the guard. It struck the flame weapon which exploded.
“It goes, Hruuugh!'” Burning oil fountained across the dark. Some of it splashed onto Vime’s arm. He slapped at it. There was pain, intense pain, but he knew this only in the same way that he knew the moon existed. It was there, but it was a long way off and didn’t affect him very much.
IMO, the best fight (and most ridiculous) fight scene ever. You’ll have to get the book to read the rest of it, but it is awesome.
Even Better 30 Day Song Challenge – Day 9 – Track for Dancing to Like a Muppet
A song for muppets, with muppets. You remind me of the babe….